you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
