this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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