You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
