Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
