For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
