Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize