Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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