If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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