State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
