As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
