I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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