She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
