my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
