Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
