Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
