3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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