So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
