At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
