I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
