I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am naked and annoyed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
