I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
