You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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