So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
