i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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