its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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