time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
