His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
there is another microwave in the elevator.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
