hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
