so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
