need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
