THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I understand Curling. That high.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
