So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
