I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Your cock deserves a montage
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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