Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bring money and cleavage
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
