what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
