I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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