I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
