Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
