your parents love me but you hate me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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