Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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