real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
