My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
