I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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