I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
