Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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