Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
