i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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