How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
