Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize