people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
