That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
