Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
