I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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